Agit-Prop reflection

There are many things i cannot articulate about this performance because somethings I myself am not willing to deal with .

This performance was an attempt to say something i didn’t want to.

Agit Prop

Failure to print 2 of 3

I first started with trying to figure out what issue I wanted to address and it immediately became about sexuality. I then wanted to simplify the message I wanted to say to its most basic elements. When considering my technology I thought it best to simply make myself the copy machine and translate that process corporally and visually. So I took the performance to its basic elements paper and text. In doing research I recalled the continuous paper that I found referenced my technology most appropriately. Although this type of paper is not what is used in copy machines now I thought it better represented the idea than single sheets of paper and allowed for more rhythmic and fluid choreography. Once I had the paper the performance sort of developed into what it ended up being.  When it came to the audio track I chose to use Lady Gaga’s leaked lyrics to her overly hyped new single which would be released a few days after the performance. The idea of using something that would later be so consumed by the media and culture really appealed to me in an intimate way. Also, the simplicity of the lyrics matched the idea of stripping my performance down to its core elements. Then using computer speech to sing the lyrics aestheticized the lyrics to a point that distorted their recognizeability. The content of the lyrics matched that of the performance so it was really a combination of good timing and critical thinking.

When deciding to do this performance I really focused on how the audience would perceive it, and I felt I was really performing for some in a very specific way and for others in a way I would hope they would understand and simply take a face value and develop their own opinions and experience from some of the vagueness of the performance. When thinking about the performance I kept a consciousness about who I was performing for and it helped inform some of the conceptual ideas about the performance. A very small would part of the class would be able to recognize some of the choices I made for the performance which came from my own personal relationships and their knowledge of my sexual histories. Foremost the performance was about my sexuality and how I came into it. The performance had a narrative quality that was known to me and those who knew those stories, so it was a revelation of me in an extremely intimate way and an exposure of myself that no one would really understand except for a few, so it was a lot like putting myself in an extremely vulnerable place where only I could affect myself, and it became a space for my own reflections and perceptions of myself.

The only thing I can really say about the performance itself was that during it I was l lost in this mess that I had created both physically and emotionally and mentally. As I keep digging into my histories I kept getting more and more lost into those ideas and experiences, and the more I did it and kept pulling paper away the more I wanted to do it and the more addictive it became and the satisfaction I got but when I got to the end all I had was a mess, a mess I myself had created and one I needed help cleaning up because I couldn’t do it for myself. Ultimately I am still in a very messy place and only beginning to file back some of those experiences.

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